malonie balonie

Meditation.....

2009-08-09T18:25:00.005+10:00

Couldn't be more straightforward, could it? ANY WONDER I AM IMBALANCED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1) Still the Body, 2) Still the Mind, 3) Focus the Attention =4) Meditation

I have begun an 8 week meditation course, in order to help me de-stress and be calm. Only problem is I really find it difficult. First you have to find your mind's eye. Then you have to make it twinkle like a star, and imagine that it is your soul. A calm and peaceful soul. Then you have to do something with your mantra all the while making sure that there is not tension anywhere in the body. You need to make sure there is no tension in your leg muscles, your stomach muscles are relaxed, your shoulders are relaxed, your neck and facial muscles are relaxed, and your jaw muscles are relaxed. Next, you close your eyes very gently and very sweetly as if resting for sleep, but you remain fully awake and fully alert behind the eyes. Your eyeballs are fixed straight ahead – horizontally.There should be no squinting or pressure placed on the eyelids. No pressure on the forehead. No pressure! No pressure to be totally and utterly relaxed while you are mantra-ing and chakra-ing and finding the star between your eyebrows????? AAAAAAAHHHHHHH this is so stressful!!!! So much for de-stressed, I feel distressed!

Mind Reading

2009-07-29T17:56:00.003+10:00

Many people think that if their loved one truly loved them whey would know how they felt and what they needed.

This is because if they really, really, really loved us they would do anything for us.

I think the if we feel displeasure or distress, the person who professes to love me should realise my unhappiness and FIX IT!!!!!!!!!

Why is that so bloody hard????

Be careful what you wish for.

2009-07-29T15:19:00.003+10:00

I have had some time off recently du to flu, which after having two cases of swine flu in my classroom, gave me some anxiety. I am not a piggy, it was just another sort of lurgy with lots of snot and snorting. I relished being sick because it gave me a divine rest from the frantic year two classroom and the needs of all those individuals. I relished every minute of being at home, coughing spluttering, snorting, popping pills and moaning. It is a very sad day when you wish that you could be sick, just a day or so day longer, so you could miss out on a mind-numbing staff meeting or curriculum (yawn) forum. Just when I am about to head back to work, I wake up with a massive pain in the lower back and arse......the doctor says I may have injured my back coughing so much. Or it could have been that fall down a flight of stairs a couple of weeks ago...

The pain is quite excruciating, and I would swap all those 7 year olds for this anyday.

back to blogging

2009-07-25T14:55:00.002+10:00

Winter holidays in Australia. Who would have thought it could be so, well, arctic! We spent two weeks driving around New South Wales, The ACT and Southern Queensland. 5 days were spent in Old Adaminaby near the snow fields, and boy was it cold!

We did the galleries, restaurants, caves, wineries, national parks etc. Took lots of photos and just enjoyed being the special three together without work and school and study stress.

postscript

2009-05-03T14:09:00.000+10:00

"According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy!" -Jerry Seinfeld

griefamundo and girl power

2009-05-02T18:33:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I attended the funeral of a friend's husband (well, an ex, but much-loved one).

I was consumed with her grief, and that of her son and daughter, children who can't possibly comprehend the road ahead without their father.

Russell's big adult wooden coffin sat, ironically, in the exact spot that my little Riley's white child-sized coffin sat four years ago, in the same chapel, the same putrid green walls, the same hideous curtains and pelmets and stupid fake smiling funeral director. It was a confronting day for me, but for Tracey and her kids it was excruciating.

I taught her beautiful daughter in year one, 2004, a horrible year for me personally, that manifested itself with the hideous grief of losing my own child. Tracey was one of the many special people who showed themselves to be thoughtful, kind in the extreme, funny, black(humoured, not coloured), irreverent and just there for me whenever I needed her along with her large posse of girls. It began with a huge basket of goodies, dropped at my door, lovingly chosen and delivered with the love and compassion that I had never seen before from this group of girls, but have never stopped observing and experiencing since.

Dear Trace,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that your loss feels so great, gross, and grabs you greedily with a vice-like grip.

I'm sorry that you feel grey, grey, the greyest grey, black charcoal clouds hang over your every breathing moment.

I'm sorry you have to be brave, gravely faced with the grotesque griffin of grief that wants to disable you and take away your spirit.

I'm sorry that this feeling grips you sometimes for days, weeks and leaves periodically only to return so quickly with more ferocity.

I'm sorry you feel groggy, paralysed and grounded with grief in your guts, your heart and your head.

I am sorry that you have go to bed, not to sleep, but to face the loss over and over again, a horrible recurring wakeful nightmare.

I'm sorry that your children are feeling all of these emotions along with you. You want to protect them from that. I'm sorry that you can't.

I'm sorry that there is no way out of the darkness, other than to go through it, experience all of its hideous tentacles, like a surreal dark deep sea monster that engulfs you and won't let go, suffocating you in its grip.

Feel blessed, girl, that along this dark, black, grey and sometimes lonely road, there will be people who will amaze you with their support and dignified graceful way of just being there, physically and spiritually. These people will carry you through.....they will not care if you are down, depressed, irritable, irrational, obnoxious, angry, in denial, or downright self-centred. They will love you through it all. They are the voice of reason and reality. They are the word of truth in a chaotic world. If you can find a connection to these people, a small thread at first, and then a web of support that will develop exponentially, one day you will realise that the unmanageable heavy load you feel is unfairly placed upon you will dissipate until......slowly, perhaps years later, you are able to experience the feeling that the grief and deep sorrow has turned into something a little more like normal (well, a little more than normal, but still manageable) sadness. One day, I assure you, you will look in the mirror, and not see that face that haunts you today, the weight of sadness reflected in your every cell.

I speak for all the girls, when I say that we are there for you, whenever you need us. Whenever Shelby and Connor need us, just whenever. We consider it a privilege to be able to share your load, which we know is more than any one person can bear on their own.

Wonders will never cease

2009-04-09T20:01:00.000+10:00

OK. I have joined the workout world. Yes it is true, to all those of you who know me well and are right at this moment judging me harshly. This year seems to be one of growth and change for me in many ways. I decided that I need to do another something for myself, even if I really hate it, I know I have to do it. (I HATE BEING EVOLVED AND GROWN UP) So I joined Curves. Colleagues of mine poo pooed me saying it was for OLD women. HEELLOOOO!!!!!!! I am 42, and love being around mature and interesting people (espesh when they are wrinklier and fatter and droopier and cellulitier than me).

Anyway, I am popping in after school, pumping away and quite loving it. I feel better (if achy and sore is better) and have more energy and a bit more focus than usual. I am not quite pole bunny yet, but am quite proud of myself for trying.
To all my dear friends and blogaliscious buddies, happy easter and may the rest of your year reflect renewal and abundance.

'I slept and dreamed that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.'

Adventure contraption #2

2009-03-26T20:33:00.000+10:00

Yep, this is the second instalment in the new big blue contraption/ adventure vehicle (thanks National Australia Bank....). Houses adventure boy, adventure girl and adventure water sport contraption (kayak). Teenage son (sloth boy) also sits in the back measuring the adventure by how many movies he can watch during the trip. We will be off-roading so watch out!!!

My Place

2009-03-22T15:19:00.001+10:00

Paddo. Brisvegas. A grungy little bohemian suburb quite near to the city but still quiet and leafy and noice. We love living here. There's the cafs and the bars and the really overpriced designer fashion shops and delis. There's the junkies and the uni students and the tennis playing mercedes driving trophy wives. Always an interesting mix. There's the milliondollar price tag homes and the derelict workers cottages side by side. It's hilly and palm tree laden. We have scrub turkeys, pythons, possums, bats, blue tongue lizards and gekkos everywhere. It is our little piece of heaven in the city.

The Pity Party Part of Me

2009-02-28T17:54:00.000+10:00

Well I had to admit it sometime. I like to feel sorry for myself. It is a really comforting feeling to feel sad for yourself (especially when nobody else does!). Occasionally (and I have to admit, more infrequently now) I take some time for myself to be really utterly miserable. I need it. In my case misery does not love company, but loves to be completely alone and completely desperately depressed. Misery loves to eat, cry and eat some more. The more tissues I can get through the better. Usually I go through my 'basket case'. This basket is filled with things that make me miserable, such as all Riley's treasured possessions, photo albums, toys and letters sent to me after his death. I find them excruciatingly sad and bask in the melancholy feelings. I put on my saddest films, like Beaches, Steel Magnolias and Fried Green Tomatoes. I listen to all the music from my son's Funeral and eat chips and lolly snakes and ice-cream. Sometimes I smoke half a packet of cigarettes. It is miserable bliss. It keeps me 'normal' for a little while longer, gets all the disgusting thoughts about myself out until the next time. MMMMmm, something to look forward to you think!!

A little bit stressed

2009-02-28T17:33:00.000+10:00

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. OK.. I feel stressed. I have been working really long hours, and knocking myself out to do what I think is an ok mediocre job. GOD teaching is so hard...it is never finished and never good enough for anyone!!!!!. This is the first time in a long time that I have let myself get sucked in to the absolute rubbish of super teacher. Unfortunately my school is full of them, and I will never be like them, so right now, starting today I say LET IT GO....somewhere off into oblivion my stress and angst about being a perfect teacher has been let free and materialised into nothingness. I say goodbye to that sucky part of myself that hates mediocre. Mediocre is great. I love mediocre. Long live mediocre....

25 things you don't know about me

2009-02-14T18:36:00.000+10:00

1. I would have liked to have had lots and lots of children.

2. I like clean, fresh, cotton sheets, just off the line and straight on the bed.

3. I love to sleep in, but rarely ever do.

4. I would have liked to have been something quite shallow, like an artist, cafe owner, interior designer if I wasn't a teacher.

5. I have a book floating around in my head, which one day I will get some uninterrupted time to write.

6. I am very lazy, hate exercise, bicycle shorts and detest gymnasiums.

7. I have hundreds of books that I have only read half (or less) of.

8. I love nothing better than people watching. I can do it for hours.

9. I have never had a manicure or a pedicure, I don't understand nail polish at all.

10. I have a very short attention span and get bored easily.

11. I hate wearing bras. Any chance I get, it's off and thrown down in disgust.

12. I secretly love kiddie foods like macaroni cheese, finger buns, fairy bread, jelly, cookies with smiley faces on them, kinder eggs.....

13. I hate cold weather. Frost, snow, ice, sleet and fog are all the weather of the devil . He also invented scarfs, beanies, winter coats, thermal underwear and gloves; how hideous and impractical are these things??!!...

14. I love comfortable shoes, when I die I will be cremated in my birkenstocks.

15. I like nothing more than spending the whole day in my pyjamas. I can't remember the last time this actually happened, and as I write this I vowe to make it soon.

16. If I can't spend the whole day in my pj's, then I love to spend it in my togs and a sarong.

17. I like doing housework, even cleaning toilets gives me satisfaction. I love the feeling I get when the whole house is clean.

18. The only thing I like about winter is flanellette.....aaahhh flannellette is God's own gorgouesness. Flanno pyjamas and flanno sheets. Heaven.

19. I hate putting clean washing away. I like to wash, hang, fold and sort, but would prefer to have mountains of clean washing than actually get it put away.

20. I secretly dream of walk-in wardrobes and pantries.

21. I love stationery, paper, pens, pencils anything gorgeous that makes writing and organising fun.

22. My left eye is smaller than my right eye.

23. My left foot is bigger than my right foot. (balances out my eyes!)

24. People with bad grammar and elecution annoy me.

25. I swear a lot. I swear too much.

floods, fires and feeling sorry for one's self

2009-02-11T20:06:00.000+10:00

To all those who read my winges and whines in the last post, let's just remember that life can be pretty tragic for some and my mojo doesn't even factor into it. In Australia we have had some devastating bush fires, well firestorms really, that have wiped out whole communities and caused a lot of emotional turmoil. The stories are too horrific and many people down south have suffered unspeakable terror. I am still getting my head around all this pain and suffering. Up north we have some floods that have caused alot of damage and taken possessions and lives with them. I get to sleep in my soft bed, shop in my local supermarket, cuddle my husband and son, and not have to worry about starting my life all over again.....and when teaching my lovelies, I don't have to take my baby on my back!! What a cutie he is!!!

P.S click on the firestorm picture to see it in more focus, it is humbling.....we really are a speck on humanity aren't we?

school is no longer cool

2009-02-08T16:13:00.001+10:00

What is it about 23 six and seven year olds that can be so hard? You can spend your holidays dreaming about how wonderful you are going to be as a teacher and how positive and gentle and caring you are, the lovely work that is going to be produced and the glowing faces looking back at you in awe of your awesomeness and lovely teacher-ness......when the reality is that they are wanting to do as little as possible, cause as much trouble as possible and make you lose your cool every 5 seconds (not difficult when its 33 degrees in the classroom!) Yes OK I admit I have already lost my mojo and it is only two weeks in to the term. Last week I had cleptomaniac Lachlan who liked the look of the chocolates on my desk, all foil and bright colours, how could he resist? This was closely followed by the lunch down the toilet incident that made me quite angry, because flushing a friend's lunch is not what I call socially acceptable.....then there's the room, which as you can see was nice and fresh and clean and all educational looking. Now it is full of crumbs and spilt drinks and paint pots not washed up from Friday and mounds of marking on my desk and pens and pencils everywhere. I know....I have to get over it, just like every other year, get on with the task of being all the things I mentioned above.
A little anecdote: As it was my birthday I had two boxes of chocolates on my desk (minus a few that got stolen by lochy) from my lovely new colleagues. As teaching is very tiring and hot and robs you of any blood sugar, I was munching on said chocolates, well, grazing all day as and when the opportunity arose. One of my dear female lovelies was overheard saying to another lovely, "When I grow up I want to be a teacher just like Mrs F and eat chocolate all day"
If only.....

Weddings

2009-02-01T12:28:00.000+10:00

I love a good wedding, especially a good non-church one. This is Ellena and Ged marrying on Nudgee Beach, with all their friends and family around them. Ellena is the daughter of dear friends, Bruce and Barb, we have known her since she was about 12 years old. She is a gentle and creative soul (like her parents) and her and Ged will have a very happy life together. Yesterday was a lovely relaxed day on the beach with everybody making a kite to fly in their honour, good food and wonderful company. Bliss...

Happy Australia Day Wherever you are!!!

2009-01-25T16:44:00.000+10:00

Hi all. Don't know what you'll be doing, but my Australia Day will NOT include tinnies, test cricket or karaoke. Instead we will celebrate with some friends who live at Samford (a little bit out in the country), probably have some meat on the barbie and lots of champagne (not too much as I have my new lovelies arriving on Tues). Wherever you are, have a good one, and remember how lucky we are to be Australian, or conversely, how silly you are not to be!! Take it easy.

Frickin' clucky for creativity....

2009-01-25T16:24:00.001+10:00

Well, it's back to work for me after five and a half weeks off. It was a brilliant holiday this time, not too much stress, and a real proper unwinding. Sometimes teachers can be very much like the old chooks above, the robot hens roost to kill any creativity.....that will not be me this year I can tell you matey!!! I will be frickin' Monet in that classroom if it kills me. I have been nesting around in my new classroom for a week now makin' it noice. Tuesday I receive my new little class of lovelies, so will take a pikkie of my fresh new creativity-filled zone before the lovelies move in.

Gardening is good for the soul.

2009-01-19T20:10:00.000+10:00

Gardening is a source of joy for me. I love to potter around and water, pull out the occasional opportunistic weed and just sit and look at the garden. We have a very small garden, but we make optimal use of every square centimetre. My garden is an endless source of aesthetic beauty and relaxation. It is not formal, but whimsical and ephemeral , changing and evolving over time. It is a garden that feeds my creative and artistic needs.

A beautiful mess. By no means minimal and stark, but full to the brim with bits and pieces of natural beauty, including lichen infested boulders, driftwood, sculptures, statues and miriads of random pots and plants. We are very lucky that we live in a sub-tropical environment where devine things like palms, ferns, bromeliads, citrus, cacti, frangipani, bouganvillea, ginger, olive trees, heliconias, birds of paradise and hibiscus can thrive with little or no maintenance, and our garden is full to overflowing with all of these things. Occasionally we have a little anxiety about where we are going to get the water to keep them alive.....and then we have one of our Summer Storms and the water tanks fill with lovely cloud juice.

Tonight we had lovely long-waited for rain and the garden has really licked it all up. I am back at work this week, so am feeling a bit sad that I won't be able to just sit in my big comfy chairs and look at my garden for hours at a time.

clutterbug

2009-01-19T19:36:00.000+10:00

I have become, over the years, a woman of many collections. I collect lots of clutter, which of course are little reminders of passionate interests, places visited and experiences lived, but not lost, because I have a little tangible trigger that sits on a shelf.

I have a very small and very cluttered house. I think, the more the merrier when it comes to collections and things of beauty, so find it exciting to find a new and interesting place to store my lovelies!.

I love to look at my collections, regroup them, sometimes by colour, texture, topic or derived place; move them around the house and look at them again. I have never photographed them before, but realise how much I actually have when I see these pictures.

I have hand-painted plates, poetry books, art books, hats, cherubs, vases, Venetian masks and glass, paintings and sculpture that make reference to the female form or fertility, all manner of jugs, Moroccan metalware, Mexican folk art pieces, rocks (just nice looking little pieces of earth picked up in various places around the world), gemstones, antique glass bottles, candelabra, costume jewellery, and gemstone jewellery. To me they are all things of great beauty and aesthetic appeal, simply, they are my treasures. Every one has a story (except the rocks, for which I can't possibly remember the origin of, but they look great all together) and I can usually recall the story of each one in detail. This is insanely boring for everyone else, but a source of joy and delight for me. I have often thought of writing the story of each collection in a published work.

Buddha's Belly (a poem)

The dust settles

but I see through

and into a familiar comfortable world

a spark of memory

makes it shine

old friends

rubbed like the belly of Buddha

for luck or old times

a longing for better clarity

relived momentarily

For The Love Of Food

2009-01-17T11:05:00.000+10:00

WARNING: This post may cause drool....

I really do have a love affair with food. It started about the time of my love affair with H M, and both have been an addiction ever since. The problem is that HM is such a great cook, and makes everything from scratch, uses lots of market and organic produce and goes to a lot of trouble to prepare and display his food for others. I think it may be the reason I married him...Men are quite sexy in the kitchen, don't you think?

He cooks everything from meringue to pork pies. Some of his specialties are; Pancakes, paella, indian curry, chicken pie, spanish meatballs, pizza, ceasar salad, the list goes on.

He also makes all the birthday cakes in the family. His signature cake is a triple layer Victoria Sponge (what man even knows what that is?). The man doesn't use a recipe for this cake.....which is quite unbelievable, but true. Each sponge layer has a different flavour, namely, vanilla, rose water and chocolate. The butter icing that fills the sponge has the same corresponding flavours. It is amazing and everyone always eats every last crumb! HM also makes us his yearly Christmas Cake (a yummy and spicy recipe from Sri Lanka) and loads of Mince Tarts. De-Lish...

Now I have become a bit a good cook too, by just being around him and watching him in action, and I do have my own specialty dishes as well, but I still prefer to eat rather than cook. I don't even mind washing up, as long as I don't have to do the cooking.

Now, as for drinking, that is also a guilty addiction, because as you can see, there is a lot of amazing food at our place, and you have to wash it down with something, usually an Australian Shiraz or Champagne. Unfortunately , the bourgious in me really pops out when it comes to food....yes I have become a food snob.

We love all the most fattening, cholesterol-laden foods, and even though we eat loads and loads of fresh fruit and vegetables, we have a lot to feel guilty about. Cheeses and chocolate are our most wicked sin, as we probably could never give them up. Butter is pretty hard to give up also, we do every so often and after about a month, one of us sheepishly brings some home and then we both pig out on it on toast.

The beginings of a curry....yum

I think HM made me these poached pears for my 40th birthday.....teamed with the best CAVA in the world ...Freixenet. A very nice combination.

Now, in a previous post I had expressed the love of sleep as one of my favourite things...

I think food wins.

Sleep is a very close second place.

For The Love Of Teaching

2009-01-14T08:34:00.000+10:00

Life is a great big canvas, slap all the paint on it that you can! This is the door of my classroom a few years back. This week in my pottering around the house readying everything for a new year at work, I have been contemplating teaching. I have been experiencing some new and exciting feelings about the new year. I have had a bit of a love/hate relationship with my chosen profession over the years.

Because we have spent lots of time overseas, and I have taken leave from teaching each time, I have had to suffer taking whatever grade level I was offered in order to get back to work. This has sometimes been quite stressful, as I morph into a different sort of teacher, with a different set of expectations, curriculum directives and professional colleagues. There have also certainly been times (when my son was sick and, in retrospect, dying) where dear colleagues have taken most of the load and let me flit in and out of focus as far as planning and extra-curricular activities. Those people know who they are and are forever treasured for the gifts (in the form of support) they gave me through that time. I have had some truly special and fantastic colleagues in this profession.

Last year however, I had what was my worst, and best year professionally. Worst, in that I had to work in a foreign (to me; not early childhood) year level at a new school with colleagues who were in a professional and personality vaccuum. Best, in that I was offered to teach at University level as a tutor in Inclusive Education and The Arts In Early Childhood (my two big passions). Now the experiences last year were fortuitous and inspiring for a couple of reasons.

I have felt that for a while now (about 8 years in fact) I have been more and more disconnected from my job. It was a means to an end, in short, paid my bills. I really did not want to be working at all. I still loved the daily contact with the children, but had somehow lost my enthusiasm for curriculum, professional development and anything 'extra' that I used to do for my students and my profession. I then spent the year in close contact with colleagues who were negative, bored, uninspiring, burnt out and totally disconnected from the students. It was confronting. I realised that I was not like them at all. And never wanted to be....

The opportunity to teach at university made me see that I did possess the passion (buried under years of stress, grief..bla bla bla) and it slowly started to resurface and bubble over. I wanted to see these fresh young uni students become fantastic switched on teachers, connected to the children and the profession in a positive way.

So, in the last few weeks, for the first time in a long time, my mind has been taken up with thoughts of classroom arrangements, decorations, planning ideas, curriculum extension, and how I am going to incorporate everything I know is best practice into reality!!! (I might say that I have been shifted back into the early childhood part of the school, which has been the springboard for my enthusiasm).

Which brings me to the reasons I love teaching:

The children are a daily source of joy and inspiration.

The challenge of making learning interesting, fun and addictive.

The creative engagement of oppositional and difficult students.

The problem solving of incorporating children with impairments to their learning in the classroom.

Advocating for the above students.

Finding teachable moments in the everyday.

Working with parents.

Being able to use my creative skills to make English, Maths, Science, etc into an artistic and creative endeavour.

Teaching children about beauty, aesthetics and self expression.

Watching while children progress and change in positive ways.

Connecting with like-minded colleagues.

Teaching doesn't just pay the bills, it is a way of expressing myself and creating learning opportunites, both for myself and my students.

Teaching has been good to me and good for me and I intend this year to repay the favours in the most full way I can.....
Watch this space for the goings on in year 2A!

Healthy body and soul...

2009-01-12T14:00:00.000+10:00

My life sometimes feels like it is in fast motion...stop I want to get off!!!

I don't usually make New Years Resolutions, in fact for nearly a decade I have just been in survival mode, so getting out of bed, getting to work, not losing my mind, meal-making and bill-paying were actually worth celebrating because they actually happened!!! I think I am ready to expand myself in more evolved ways! So, anyway, I was reading the Weekend Australian Magazine on Sunday and my interest was peaked by the article entitled:

17 Ways To Get Healthy In Body and Soul - And Stay That Way.

MMMMmmmmm......after much consideration I will give you a quick run down with my take on each of the 17 suggestions:

1. GET OUT MORE
This refers to getting Vitamin D from the sun. The recommendation is 10-15 minutes of sunshine a day. Well, my BrisVegas friends will agree that this article is written distinctly for our southern counterparts in Australia, as we are bombarded by sunshine! Sun streams into my kitchen in the morning while making a cup of tea, breakfast and washing up (that's my half hour right there), sizzles on the concrete while I hang up my daily load of washing before I rush off to work, beats down on my right arm on my half hour drive to work, spends half the day annoying me and my classroom of children by warming the room up to about 30 degrees Celsius and causing glare on the whiteboard, and then there's the 45 minutes each day spent doing playground duty on the school oval with no hint of shade anywhere. More sun? I think not.

2.MOVE
Ha!!! This refers to moving to

a) The Sunshine Coast (apparently female residents there live longer than anywhere else in the country; my mum may live to 84.7 which is good for me, but longer would be better!)

b) Canberra or Melbourne (only if you're a bloke).

Sorry, very happy in my little part of the world (Paddington...it's beaut) and even more happy to visit the Sunny Coast and let a little longevity (instead of sand) rub off on me in the surf.

3. FLOSS
Yes, alright, alright....That one is a no brainer! Still hate doing it though....

4. KNOW YOUR FAMILY TREE
Actually I would rather not know if cancer, heart disease, diabetes and dementia are in my future at this stage, so piss that one off!!

5. MAKE NEW FRIENDS
Now you're talking! This one I can do. Strangers are just friends you haven't met yet, despite the fact that statistically, some of them are bound to be muggers, pedophiles, psychos or have serious personality disorders. I don't care, I have always spoken to absolute strangers, wherever I am. I love it. It's like a daily challenge to get someone to smile, or get them to tell you something about themselves. I love meeting new friends, and can never have enough of that uplifting social banter with new or old friends.

6. EMBRACE RANDOMNESS
Yes! Now you're are really talking!!! Random is my middle name.

Nassun Nicholas Taleb explains in his book Fooled By Randomness 'I am convinced that we are not made for clear-cut, well-delineated schedules. We are made to live like fireman or cheetahs, with downtime for lounging (possibly meditating) between calls or attacks, under the protection of protective certainty. Regrettably, some people might be turned into optimisers by their parents, like a suburban child having his precious weekend minutes squeezed between karate, guitar lessons, and religious education. It kills their ability to meditate - their chance encounters with nature's gifts.'
I have always been a randomiser. I hate rigidity, dogma, routine and schedules; love a bit of unpredictability in my life (that was lucky...as it turned out).
Let's let kids be kids, let's not hurry them. Let us as adults be human beings, not frantic robotics, corporately constipated and unable to see the real world of gifts around us, because we are too busy being perfect.

7. CONTENT YOURSELF
Don't get the wrong idea here, we are talking about de-stressing here, I, too got the wrong end of the stick at first, but hey this is The Australian, not Playboy, go directly to #10 for more on that subject....)
This refers to the fact that even though we are richer, safer and healthier than ever before, stress is through the roof, our level of trust in others has dropped and our children are feeling it too. Us Australians have always known that success is not determined by wealth as this leads to an obsession with competition, and well, we just don't have the energy!! It's far too hot here to worry...

8. WATCH WHAT YOU SLEEP
U.S researchers say 7 is the magic number when it comes to hours of sleep. I say that is a crock. 12 hours sleep (or more) is my recommendation, and if your husband tries to wake you up, confiscate his camera, smash it into a million pieces and bury it in the ironing basket, there is no way he will find it there!!! (you may need to read my previous blog post to appreciate my annoyance here)

9. TAKE THE STAIRS, NOT THE LIFT.
Boooring....

10. BREAK OUT THE BARRY WHITE
AACHEM, sorry no idea who that is.....Have to just look it up.......ooohhh,break out the BARRY WHITE means to use whatever croony music to organise yourself an ORGASM!!!! It appears that sex (the good stuff) is really healthy for us! Health benefits include:

helping fight insomnia (sorry, don't have that problem)

improves intimacy and bonding within a relationship (daah....except if it is not your husband you are having sex with!)

pain relief; endorphins released during sex can soothe everything from PMS to back pain and knees. (Annielaural and Thufferin', hope you are listening)

boosts immunity to disease (except of course syphilis, herpes, and aids) by raising anti-body (irony alert) activity.

BTW, BARRY WHITE won't do it for me, any other suggestions out there???

11. KNOW THY PHYSICIANApparently 'maintaining wellness' means visiting your doctor even when you are NOT sick. How stupid. I don't have time to go to the doctor when I AM sick. Stupid.

12. TURN A VICE INTO A VIRTUE

YES!! Pleasure keeps you healthy..

causes our cells to release a natural antibiotic; enkelytin
small doses of stuff like alcohol and chocolate can reverse the ageing process.

Everything in moderation, even moderation itself I say.

13. EAT BANANAS AND GARLIC AND DRINK GREEN TEA.

Stupid people, that is easy, as long as you don't have to have them altogether....

14. GOSSIP

The excitement of sharing gossip produces endorphins and , in a nod to the maxim that nice guys finish last, studies have shown that as you get older, remaining socially active - invited out and engaging in the mental stimulation of gossip - can extend your life by six years. In that case I have been mentally stimulating myself for years, who knew?

15. GO WITH THE FLOW

This is a mental state, in which a person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing, and in which time is distorted and any awareness of what's going on around you disappears. My 13 year son has managed to perfect this....why can't I?

16. GET DOWN AND DIRTY

Yep, get all germy and at one with the microscopic critters. MMMMmmmmm, still thinking about that one..

17. BELIEVE IN SOMETHING

......Godly, that is. I don't take Holy Communion, face Mecca, meditate to Buddha or read the Bible. I believe in a lot of things...but not God. I prefer to believe in the beauty of the earth, nature, life and individual souls, which I may reveal in future posts.

Anybody got any other points to add? Let's make it 20. I need 3 more wise ways to have a healthy and happy soul. Help me out fellow bloggers.... ;)

sleepZZZZZZsnore*snooze**

2009-01-11T17:17:00.000+10:00

Yes...you guessed it.....sleep is my absolute favourite pastime, above all else, well, a smidgeon above eating (more in future posts about that one). It was easy to find images of me sleeping, because for some kooky reason, HM loves to take pictures of me in this state, there are a gazillion of them.. It's not like sleep for me is a rare occurence or anything, more he gets a kick out of really ugly, drool-ozzing-out-of-the-corner-of-the-mouth-eye-half-open-type pictures, usually really close up showing every blemish, freckle, wrinkle, sheet mark and flaw. He thinks it amusing somehow....he says it is just that I look so adorable when I'm asleep, but every picture he has ever taken shows me, in a godawful state such as above...I think it may stem from a sub-conscious need to wake me from my divine slumber. Doesn't matter how many times he tries to take my picture, I still love to sleep.

MY PARADISE!!

2009-01-11T16:30:00.000+10:00

Let's face it, anyone who lives in Brisbane lives in paradise. Brisbane itself is just perfect (more about Brisvegas in future posts) but the Gold Coast and the Sunshine Coast (one hour drive away south and north respectively) are pure paradise on a stick. This is the Sunshine Coast, thanks to my parents who live there, the weekend and holiday destination for us. Recently, we towed Luis on his boogie board at the back of the kayak over to the tip of Bribie Island, which is almost on the mainland due to shifting sand bars. Don't want to brag, but, as you can see, pristine sand and crystal clear water make this place Paradise for me. On this day a storm was brewing, but we didn't care as we were so relaxed on our island. The little guy who snuck into the shot is not ours, but one of triplets who that day were playing around with us and finding crabs on the beach. I wanted to scoop all three of them up and steal them away on the kayak , they were so cute.

MMMmmm, me, like a pig in mud.........I lay there for ages with the warm water lapping me into a trans-like state. The kayak hat is a good look don't you think? In the background Bulcock Beach (Caloundra), Norfolk Pines and lots of blissful holidaymakers swimming at the beach.

Luis being towed.

Photography

2009-01-09T16:12:00.000+10:00

I have been interested in photography for years. HM is photography MAD and loves his old film cameras. We found a digital camera that takes all his old lenses with an adaptor, and it was reduced in the post xmas sales, so we thought, why not spend every last cent we have in the bank on something fun to use? yippididoodaa!!! we have a funky CANON SLR to play with together. This is my first creative piece. It's a little clay mexican folk angel that we gained while living in Houston. It has been hanging in my kitchen for a while now and whenever I look at it the broken wing and foot remind me in a macabre way of Riley. So it was donned with Riley's cutie patootie necklace that he got in Disneyland, put up against my Mexican wall out the back and voila!!

ADVENTURE GIRL!!

2009-01-09T08:53:00.000+10:00

Husband Material and the big blue contraption. He sits in the rear and does the steering, I sit in the front and do the bossing around.

How Peaceful......

Green tree frog that decided to hop under my hat.

Look! No children yelling "MISS!"

Husband Material packing up the kayak after a really great adventure.

Yes!! That's me! Adventure Girl....I wear my new label like a proud medal as I never knew being said girl could be so fantastic! There are many long suffering people out there who have had to put up with me complaining and whining...'I'm built for comfort...not speed' my whole life. BUT NOW there is no stopping me and the long sufferings will now have to suffer my 'adventure girl' mantra (said in super hero speak of course!). Now let me explain the first installment in the Super Adventure Girl Saga.........

This is my very cute and very adventurous foot (I really do put my best foot forward!) leading the way in our new adventure vehicle.....the Hobie 2 Person Kayak. We purchased this little beauty during last year in an attempt to flatten our matching big fat stomachs. Who knew it was going to turn me into Adventure Girl? Now, if I was a boy I would be turned on by the fact that it has mechanised foot pedals to make you go really fast and an attachable sail to make you go even faster and rest your legs, or that you can race old fashioned paddle kayaks and leave them for dead. But, no, I just absolutely am in love with the feeling I get when I'm sitting atop this beautiful blue contraption, pedaling away, listening to the water lap the sides of the boat and watching the world go buy. It has a peaceful and calming effect on me.....and the very best bit is that Graham/Musband Material (from now on only to be known only as HM) and I never fight when we are on the Kayak! Never, not once, which for anyone who knows us is quite a feat. We don't even bicker, which, admittedly, is our most common pastime. Sometimes he steers me into a mangrove tree or splashes me, just to be funny, but the crazy thing is, I think it is funny!!! Being on the kayak turns us into really decent, normal, relaxed and chilled-out individuals. If I had known of the effect of the blue contraption I would have bought one 15 years ago!!

So, at the start of the Christmas Hols (after a putrid year at school) we went on our first real kayak adventure. This involved pedaling and paddling for 20 kilometres across a lake, and up an estuary and bush camping for two nights at a campsite you can anly reach by canoe (all camping gear had to be packed into the kayak, and was 'heavy as' as us aussies say). I had a map I had printed off the internet, but other than that we really didn't know where we were going. What were we thinking?It did not begin well......

The first morning of launching was a bit of a disaster. The sky was a dark shade of impending doom, and there were actual waves on the lake. As we stuffed the kayak full of three days food, water and camping gear, the rain started....Luckily we had our trusty ponchos. HM refused to use his as he is tough (?!). Anyway the lake looked ominous, a huge expanse of grey, with not one water craft to be seen. Even I, who knew nothing about boats and stuff like that, thought that was not a good sign. We had to pedal 5 kms across the lake to get to the next landmark. To an outsider I suppose it may have looked slightly humorous, me with my big blue poncho flying up in front, the rain pissing down, HM, who had gotten out the compass to direct us acurately (sounds stupid, but we actually couldn't see where we were going) yelling at me to put my poncho down because all he could see was a mass of blue vinyl flying in the air. It was looking like the adventure from hell.

When we arrived at the first landmark the weather had calmed and suffice to say it was plain sailing... achem....pedaling from then on. In fact it was blissful...... meandering through the winding river bends, with the black water giving us beautiful reflections of the swampy mangrove trees. aah it really was worth the effort, as you can see by the pictures..

This is where I, deservedly, rose to the new and heady height of (drumroll ploise).........Adventure Girl!

COLOUR and my Che Guevara

2009-01-08T09:19:00.000+10:00

Those who know me will know, I love lots of colour, the brighter the better. I think now that I am starting to reflect on my life and develop a fraction of insight I would say that, for me it is about optimism. Colour exudes optimism for me. Optimism is the intangible thing that I have been desperately trying to grab a hold of for years. Sometimes it seems impossible to grasp and cling to. The bright colours on the walls, shelves, garden and furnishings of my humble abode give me a daily dose of optimism as I go about my daily (frantic) busy-ness. I have, over the years, flippantly remarked about the fact that the colours I choose to have around me are 'cheap and cheery', but the choice runs much much deeper....a deep and desperate need to make the really worn, scratched, beaten down, faded, ugly, weathered, cracked, weary, faint, spent, weak, eroded, grey, tired, jaded and fatigued parts of myself all shiny, bright, fresh, invigorated, unique, brilliant, strong, sparkly and beautiful again. That is my neurosis about colour. I can tell you it doesn't always work, but I have fun with the paint tins in the process!

Which brings me to a related matter. My current obsession with Frida Kahlo. She is my Che Guevera. I find her inspirational if not a little bit of a kindred spirit (I know that is very cheeky of me because she is a very famous and brilliant icon of the art world...but aaahh humour me a little). These are some of the reasons she is on my page:

Frida inspires me because she has:

Suffered huge amounts of pain and suffering, somehow turning that hidiousness into great beauty.

Used huge amounts of colour in her paintings, her life, her surroundings, her 'self'

Passion in her love for a very flawed man (towards the end of her life, built two houses connected by a walkway, one for her and one for Diego....now that is BRILLIANCE!)

Had the courage to portray herself in very confronting and honest ways

Worn the most incredible odornments, huge turquoise and coral necklaces and rings, her hair filled with fresh brightly coloured flowers and her dresses almost tribal in colour and texture. (Watch out guys....I think I may have the Frida in me lurking, waiting to explode!)

Become an Icon for The Day Of The Dead (which has fascinated me for many years and now I am particularly obsessed by honouring the dead in my life) The intricately painted Frida Kahlo skulls and skeletons are beautiful to me.

Created many many mesmerising pieces of art that speak to me in many, many ways.

I say 'VIVA LA FRIDA' as Diego did after she died....too late, bum head (Unlike the Frida I despise the Diego)

PASSION!!

2009-01-07T21:07:00.000+10:00

Yes, I can feel it in my waters...I am starting to feel like my old (well actually younger) self. I recall that I use to have lots of interests and goals and passions that I thought i would be ticking off a big huge list as I got older. Unfortunately life and responsibilities and other hidieous things got in the way. My next posts will be dedicated to the things which I LOVE (or have the potential to love if I had my way!!!) or feel strongly about. Watch this space!! :)

Bienvenido Mauricio!!

2009-01-07T16:33:00.000+10:00

Now that I have introduced the members of our household, let me introduce the new addition. Mauricio is a student from a school in Mexico City who is involved in a homestay program with Luis' school. He will stay with us for six months and hopefully he will learn some English from us and we will learn some Spanish from him! He arrives at the end of this month and we are so excited about taking him around the local spots and of course to the beach. Benvenido Mauricio!!

Joss

2009-01-07T16:10:00.000+10:00

Joss is my step daughter, a beautiful bohemian soul. We have become more closely aquainted while she has been staying with us a lot over the last 6 months. She brings lots of joy into the household. Luis loves having a sister around the place, Graham loves having his daughter back in his life and I don't mind a bit of female company! Joss is a musician, artist and altruist and will go far in whatever she chooses to do.

Polly the Pooch

2009-01-07T15:55:00.000+10:00

Apollo. We call him Polly for short. He doesn't care that it's a girlie name, he just comes running and jumping and licking and smooching. He is a Lowchen (that's a pedigree dog, even though he looks like a bitzer!) He was bought for Riley as a companion dog and he is just that. He never leaves anybody's side and is quite neurotic. He jumps at the slightest sound (great guard dog if you want to keep out birds, falling leaves, helicopters, pedestrians etc) He has to take Doggie Valium to get through the day because he gets stressed out at the least hint of anyone leaving the house. Our friends call him Fang, as you can see, he has an awkward tooth that protudes and makes him look a bit silly.

Husband Material

2009-01-07T13:39:00.000+10:00

Graham is my bestie. We have been through hell and back together many times, sometimes more successfully than others. He is funny, clever, a bit handsome, quite domestic, a great handyman and a very fine cook. Every women's dream. He does have the propensity to get his knickers in a twist on occasion, but we always manage to get them unravelled.
His work has taken us to foreign countries where we have had lots of adventures. For much of Riley's life Graham was his carer and did a magic job. He is a wonderful life partner and Dad. At the moment he is on his way to fulfilling a life dream...completing a PHD. I'm a bit proud of him!
I'll let you in on some of our new and old adventures in future posts!

Long Live The Luis!!!

2009-01-07T11:21:00.000+10:00

The long haired lout himself. He is now a teenager. This boy has always been an absolute JOY with lots of capitals and boldness!!!! He is funny, smart, cheeky, a good conversationalist, has heaps of character and personality and is just lovable. He loves the theatre and being on stage. He doesn't mind being the centre of attention in any situation. He has moved countries and schools more times than I like to count and every time he rises to the occasion.
Now that he is a teenager he is also lazy, slothy, (a little bit) grunty, monosyllabic, disorganised and addicted to gaming. I love that he is a teenager and tease him non stop about his hormonal ways. I say LONG LIVE THE LUI!!!

The Life Of Riley

2009-01-07T08:40:00.000+10:00

Riley Paul

13.3.00-25.12.04
A beautiful cherub of a child who dealt with more than his fair share of challenges. We miss him.
It has been four years since Riley passed away in his sleep on Chrismas Day. It has taken me this long to start to clear the fog of grief and loss and start to see that my life can have joyful meaning again.
I have started this blog as a record of how my life now unfolds. I am excited about my life for the first time in a long time.
In 2000, Riley was born, perfect, but with an imperfect brain. A neurological migration disorder had meant that his brain was too small and not formed properly. That was the beginning of my feelings of grief and loss, for us and for him. He had no significant milestones, although he smiled a lot, laughed a bit and gave big wet, sloppy kisses, which kept us going. He was totally dependent on us for everything, which only made us love him more. In retrospect, we wished we cuddled him more and just relished every hug smile, kiss and laugh, instead of consuming ourselves with worry about how we were going to look after him long term. There was no long term......
Which brings me back to the reason for my blog. I intend to live each day I am given now with gusto, joy, enthusiasm and with integrity. I am going to be the best person I can be (with the exeption of my pity party days which I will explain in more detail in future posts). The last eight years have been totally consumed with pain, anxiety, sadness, guilt, depression and anger. I really feel that I can say goodbye now to all of that hideousness and move on with living a peaceful and fun life.

Procrastination...

2008-10-23T12:30:00.000+10:00

Well Here I am .....let's babble...
The propensity for procrastination is my worst personality trait. I wish I could do it and do it now....At the moment I have huge amounts of work to do and am setting up this blog instead. I can think of anything to do instead of that which I need to do. Actually it is a skill. I really don't worry about procrastinating..quite enjoy it actually. I wish I could stress out about what I haven't done, but I don't.